Lagos, Nigeria — In a stunning display of consistency, Nigeria’s National Power Grid has broken a Guinness World Record set only weeks ago by… Nigeria’s National Power Grid. This marks the fastest time any national grid has collapsed repeatedly in a week, a feat that is expected to remain in the record books for years, or at least until next week.
Officials confirmed the grid’s legendary five-fold failure over seven days, solidifying Nigeria’s position as a global leader in “synchronized darkness.” Nigeria now joins the ranks of luminaries in record-breaking feats like the Most Simultaneous Candle Lit Dinners and Largest Collection of Battery-Powered Lanterns.
“I knew we were onto something special,” remarked Tunde Ade, a generator shop owner in Lagos. “When the power cut out for the fifth time, I thought, ‘Yes, we’re making history!’ It’s not every day you get to sell five generators to the same customer within one week. I might even qualify for my own Guinness World Record soon!”
Nigerians across the country took to social media to share their excitement, with the hashtags #PowerlessChampions, #DarknessGoals, and #GeneratorToTheWorld trending in record time. One optimistic Twitter user celebrated the “world-class perseverance of the National Grid” while another asked, “Will we get a certificate? Do we bring our own candles to the ceremony?”
Meanwhile, Nigeria’s Minister of Power responded by issuing an official statement congratulating the grid for “achieving what no one thought was possible” and “setting a new standard in blackout resilience.” He further encouraged Nigerians to stay positive, as “with every collapse, there’s an opportunity for growth… of the candle and generator market.”
The National Power Holding Company is reportedly thrilled by the achievement, citing it as a “massive morale boost” for the team, many of whom hadn’t thought “world-renowned inconsistency” was attainable. “This kind of international recognition was just the thing our infrastructure needed,” said one enthusiastic manager. “Now we know our grid is more than just a local icon; it’s a beacon for blackouts around the world.”
International praise has poured in, with other countries sending their admiration for Nigeria’s unparalleled dedication to the blackout arts. Leaders across Africa and beyond are asking Nigeria’s power managers to lead workshops on “Grid Collapse Strategy,” sparking hopes for a future where the global community can achieve similar… well, let’s call it “illumination absence.”
In a heartwarming twist, the Guinness World Records team announced they will be visiting Nigeria to present an award for “Most Successful Power Grid Collapses in Seven Days.” The ceremony is tentatively scheduled to take place in Lagos next week—provided, of course, that there’s enough light to see the podium.
