Abuja, Nigeria – Former President Muhammadu Buhari has expressed what can only be described as gleeful admiration for his successor, President Bola Ahmed Tinubu. According to Buhari, Tinubu has managed to surpass his own infamous record of incompetence, misgovernance, and national discontent—all within a breathtaking span of less than two years.
Speaking at a private dinner in his hometown of Daura, Buhari was reportedly in high spirits as he reflected on his eight-year reign, which many critics had dubbed one of the worst periods in Nigeria’s modern history. “I thought I set the bar quite high,” Buhari said with a proud grin. “Fuel scarcity, inflation, insecurity, poor infrastructure… I worked hard to ensure that future presidents would have a tough time outdoing me in terms of pure national dysfunction. But Tinubu, oh my! He’s taken it to a whole new level.”
The former president was referring to the rapid decline in Nigeria’s economy and social order since Tinubu took office. With the naira now on a first-name basis with rock-bottom, nationwide protests over subsidy removal, and insecurity reaching new heights, Tinubu has given Buhari’s legacy a run for its money.
“When I removed fuel subsidies, I at least gave the people time to prepare for hardship,” Buhari reminisced. “But Tinubu went for it like a bull in a china shop! One strike, and boom—everyone’s pocket became as empty as the promises made during election season.”
Buhari also seemed impressed with Tinubu’s handling of Nigeria’s unity, which he admitted to struggling with during his tenure. “I divided the country along ethnic and religious lines, but Tinubu, he’s united everyone… in collective suffering!” said the former president, his voice tinged with awe. “I’ve never seen anything like it. North, South, East, West—everyone is complaining at the same time. It’s a beautiful kind of chaos.”
Sources close to Buhari claim that the former leader is relieved that Tinubu’s missteps have taken the heat off his own legacy. “For eight years, people never stopped criticizing me, but now, no one even remembers the Fulani herdsmen crisis. It’s like all my failures have been erased by Tinubu’s sheer ability to outdo me.”
Nigerians, however, are not as amused. The nation’s citizens, who once thought the worst was behind them, have begun to reminisce nostalgically about Buhari’s era. “I never thought I’d say this, but I miss Baba Go Slow,” said a local resident in Lagos. “At least, under Buhari, we still had some semblance of hope. Now, all we have is a shrinking bank account and inflated promises.”
Meanwhile, Tinubu has remained tight-lipped about the recent remarks from his predecessor, focusing instead on his plans to introduce new austerity measures to “reset” the country’s economy. Rumor has it that his next move might involve selling government offices for additional revenue—or worse, adding more taxes on already dwindling salaries.
In a country where hope is fast becoming an endangered species, some Nigerians have found humor in Buhari’s sarcastic seal of approval for Tinubu. “It’s like watching a relay race,” said one political commentator. “Buhari handed over the baton of failure, and Tinubu is sprinting with it to the finish line.”
Whether Tinubu will continue his meteoric rise to the title of “Worst President” remains to be seen. But for now, Buhari seems content to sit back, relax, and watch his successor make history—faster and worse than anyone thought possible.
Disclaimer: This article is purely satirical. Names, characters, and events mentioned are fictionalized for comedic purposes and are not intended to offend or disrespect any individual or entity.
