One of the banes of Lagosians is traffic; it is responsible for the increased fights and madness that Lagosians display daily on the road.
The dream of every working Lagosian is to escape this mess and get to work on time, especially if you ply the Mainland-Island route.
If you have been wondering how to achieve this almost impossible feat, I am here for you as always.
Behold the 4 proven ways to escape Lagos traffic:
Leave home at midnight.
By now, you should have noticed that traffic is caused by many people leaving their homes at the same time to get to their destination at the same time.
In the process, cars are bashed, fights happen, and people sometimes get to their bus stop late. This doesn’t have to be you.
As a law abiding citizen of the state, you don’t deserve to be stuck in traffic because you no like come this life to suffer.
You can escape this daily nightmare by leaving home for work at midnight. This way, you won’t be competing with any vehicle on the road.
The road is all yours and you can practice your fast and furious moves without fear of being pulled over by any traffic warden.
Buy a Helicopter
This is one of the surest ways to escape the time-wasting gridlock and get to your destination on time.
You can get a fairly used one on those ecommerce sites for as low as N3,500.
Don’t worry about getting a pilot, save cost by taking the reins yourself.
Remember when you said you wanted to be a pilot when you grow up?
Now is the time to fulfil that dream and make your teacher proud.
Watch Youtube videos to learn how to ride a helicopter and that’s it!
You become unstoppable. Not even the state government can stop you.
Stop going to work
The reason you are stuck in traffic is because of work, right? So, you understand that if you don’t go to work, you won’t be stuck in traffic? Good.
Save yourself the cost and stress of Lagos traffic by staying at home to rest. Life is not a battle and you deserve every enjoyment you can get.
Send a mail to your bosses telling them that you can’t deal with the traffic and you want to work from home. Attach picture evidences to convince them that it is a serious matter.
If they refuse to grant your wish, block them on the road and show them crazy.
Leave Lagos for us
If after trying all these tricks and you are still stuck in traffic, boya you should leave Lagos for us because why would you want to escape traffic?
How can you prove your citizenship in Lagos if you have not had a taste of the crippling traffic in this golden city?
Traffic is woven into the fabric of this bubbly state and you cannot escape it, my dear. All you can do is enjoy it and look on the bright side.
There is so much you can do while in traffic. You can find your boo in traffic, get married and have two children.
You can also start a Google course and complete it.
You can learn about tourism in Lagos state.
You can meet your fellow Lagosians and make new friends.
You can watch the exciting drama between LASTMA officials and Danfo drivers.
So you see, maybe traffic is not so bad at all.
Disclaimer: The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious. The Danfo Nation is a humor, satire and parody news web publication. The Danfo Nation hereby refuses to accept responsibility for the results of any person’s credulity or mischief. Read our full disclaimer
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